Cost of allotment £16
Cost of half of allotment middle-class newbies can't manage £0
Cost of shed taken from next door's abandoned allotment £0
Cost of endless bits of plastic and wood pilfered from skips £0
Cost of incredibly useful cloches in Aldi £1.99
Cost of seeds swapped, and kept back, and free in magazines £0
Overall cost per vegetable 0.1pence
As opposed to us:
Cost of 72 gardening books all telling you the same thing £990
Cost of two sheds to house shiny new tools and someone to build them £800
Cost of three raised beds using railway sleepers £280
Cost of Greenhouse £400
Cost of plug plants to replace all the tomato seedlings the dog ate £25
Cost of grow-feed, slug-pellets, vitamins, acupuncture and homeopathic remedies £125
Overall cost per vegetable £2.10

One man takes the Northern Line from Tooting to Shropshire, where It seems to be mainly 1954 and raining. Enter Bobby, a rescue dog. The question is can Bobby rescue our stranded man?
"There is wisdom here and wit, intelligence and perspicacious observation; all delivered in warm, self deprecating writing."
(KD, Bristol)
"The part of the dog is played with verve and gusto"
(Bobby, Shropshire)
"I thought we told you to bugger off back to London."
(TE, Shropshire)
Click here to buy it now