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I feel the need, the need for speed...

16/3/2014

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Anne won the West Midlands Police motorway driving lottery a while back, and as her reward they kindly invited her to attend a Speed Awareness Day for a mere £60 up front and not a word to the insurers.

She went Friday and on her return I asked how it had gone. She said “Four hours in a room of the walking dead listening to someone drone on about road safety – how do you think it went?”

Fair enough, or at least I thought, until this morning on our drive to Church Stretton. Forty minutes later I'd had every single road sign pointed out to me: “Now that's a Gateway sign. And look, that small one, that's a repeater, there should be one of those every three seconds, but people steal them for people's 30th, 40th and 50th birthday presents. But look, repeater, repeater, repeater, repeater, repeater, repeater...oh look Gateway.”

I was contemplating chucking myself out on the roundabout just outside Much Wenlock when she said - “Ah, street lights – now, when in town, one gear down.” And so my education continued. The white circle with the black diagonal means something very important but I was too busy stabbing myself with a pen to learn what, considering I don't even drive and all. Still, it's nice to know if things don't work out in Housing she's got a future in Health and Safety.

Honestly, I wish I'd just taken the points...


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