I'm not one for celebrity gossip. I never have been really but these days it's particularly pointless. Not only am I too old to be shocked and titillated but now, when Anne reads out some salacious titbit or other as we enjoy our weekend brunch, my most likely response is "Who?"
However, I found myself taking an overly intrusive interest in the Punch and Judy show that was Charles Saatchi's trial of Nigella Lawson by proxy. It had all the elements of a good melodrama and endless opportunities for food-themed cocaine gags.
My favourite snippet though was the revelation that Charles Saatchi had been sending one of the accused around London with wodges of cash and instructions to buy up all available copies of Saatchi's own book. The next day brought further revelations. He had purchased 10 copies of his own book on Amazon, so that he could see the effect on his sales ranking. What a cock.
Or at least that's what I thought when I read it. But that was back in 2013, which was a much simpler age. For I have spent the last month looking at my own Amazon ranking and weeping, and it's now clear to me that what looked like the height of narcissism was in fact a simple, sensible and entirely logical marketing decision. For a stupidly rich man anyway.
My own much cheaper (indeed free) investigations and experiments suggest that one purchase a week can move our book from 75000 to 45000 and two purchases throws us back into the top 25000 where I'm sure you'd all agree we belong. Ten copies and he was an instant bestseller. If not quite Nigella...
However, I found myself taking an overly intrusive interest in the Punch and Judy show that was Charles Saatchi's trial of Nigella Lawson by proxy. It had all the elements of a good melodrama and endless opportunities for food-themed cocaine gags.
My favourite snippet though was the revelation that Charles Saatchi had been sending one of the accused around London with wodges of cash and instructions to buy up all available copies of Saatchi's own book. The next day brought further revelations. He had purchased 10 copies of his own book on Amazon, so that he could see the effect on his sales ranking. What a cock.
Or at least that's what I thought when I read it. But that was back in 2013, which was a much simpler age. For I have spent the last month looking at my own Amazon ranking and weeping, and it's now clear to me that what looked like the height of narcissism was in fact a simple, sensible and entirely logical marketing decision. For a stupidly rich man anyway.
My own much cheaper (indeed free) investigations and experiments suggest that one purchase a week can move our book from 75000 to 45000 and two purchases throws us back into the top 25000 where I'm sure you'd all agree we belong. Ten copies and he was an instant bestseller. If not quite Nigella...
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