Other than that, here's my more sober assessment of the situation as the polls close:
Either Labour sneak over the line with a minority government and come Wednesday week we invade Scotland, with Richard Littlejohn riding shotgun on the top of James Blunt's armoured carrier, with Boris chewing on a cigar saying never have so few made so much money from so many.
Or, the press barons and their Tories stage a very British coup, nobly assisted by the weasel's weasel Clegg, we wade through two years of economic turpitude before leaving Europe, which implodes into civil war and after the slaughter of millions we all end up Russian.
On balance, I prefer war with Scotland...